I will give you the treasure of darkness, riches stored in secret places Isaiah 45:3
Month: October 2022
River of Life
Healing Streams
Bradford City of Culture 2025
Each of the twelve designs reflect colours in the flags of different ethnic groups in Bradford.
The Secret
My life truly is a miracle. I had a major operation fixing congenital defects to my stomach and oesophagus at the age of 2 then at the age of 53 they diagnosed I had been living my whole life with my colon in my left lung space, a hidden secret my body held. My next poem is about that time in my life My body held a secret, hidden locked away Refusing to come out into the light of day It shocked me when it surfaced and shocked the surgeon too, The most eminent physician amazed through and through I’ve heard the word epiphany and wondered what it meant A moment of revelation, something heaven sent In that instant I viewed my life in a completely different way 3 was 4 and 5 was 6 there’s nothing else to say It all made sense, a light switched on The truth was out, the mystery gone The hidden struggles, I understand Dangers traversed Gods guiding hand The relief was massive, colour exploded The whole of me fully downloaded I knew for sure it’s time to leave The old behind but give space to grieve I’d lived with the secret for so long Needed time to sing a different song Years progressed I embraced the new The change in me was right on cue I don’t understand the process, why I felt so free The missing piece, how it had burdened me I only know that the secret is out I’m free to run and jump and shout I’m free to live again John Lowton October '22'
Roller coaster
My behaviour started at the age of 10 All week planning, culminating when The turnstile clicked and I entered the ground Sweaty odours as I looked around Heartbeat racing; I took my place The chase, the buzz an emotional race Extremes of tension, highs and lows The final whistle exhaustion shows Drained of energy I went on my way To return again another day In my 20’s I went to church From meeting to meeting I did lurch The emotional energy just as strong The chase, the buzz, just as wrong The addictive charisma, the joy and fun I couldn’t exist I had to run With childhood traumas I had no hope The highs and lows I couldn’t cope The dangers were there for this broken child For comfort and solace I went wild Hidden behaviours my dark friend The traumatic pain had no end At an early age I learned to block Extremes of emotion ran a mock Now I prefer a steady ride From emotional extremes I tend to hide Steady away I prefer to go I want to let the others know To cope with extremes is a lesson to learn The highs and lows I no longer yearn Over time a new path is carved out Steady away I’m reluctant to shout I don’t seek attention, I don’t seek fame You don’t even have to know my name Gradually and slowly I will rise And when I do it will surprise For I’ve been hidden for to long I’ve begun to sing a different song It’s time to live again John Lowton October '22'
Arctic rhythm’s
Open Heaven
To Boldly Go
Based on a dream I had in May 2022
The dream
In the dream I was waiting to wade across a river with a group of people, other travellers. In the distance across the river we could see the building on the other side of the crossing point. We could make out a red light on the building stopping us crossing, as we waited for the light to turn green the river flowed deeper and deeper and got wider and wider. We could see thick snow on the tops of the trees on the other side, I knew it was this snow that was causing the river to flow deeper and deeper. We waited and waited, such along time before being allowed to cross, a boat/barge passed by. Eventually in the distance we could just make out the green light to indicate it’s time to start crossing, I was first in so fast ahead of the others but very quickly was out of my depth, the water was flowing quickly because of the melting snow,. I was worried that I needed to swim to get to the other side and concerned for the people behind me.
Apparently I’m a survivor, this is what they say
Bouncing back from life’s extremes to live another day
I see it in my family, the survival trait is strong
World War 1 and World War 2, a very familiar song
I’ve heard it said a thousand times by well-intentioned friends
The survivor word deep entrenched and the message that it sends
I could be content with survival, at the age of 61
But the reality of life is its only just begun
I’m not content with survival, there is more to life than that
To dress in clothes extravagantly and wear a different hat
My horizon is expanding, colours new in view
Now is the time for living, now I must be true
To give and create expressions full of morning hope
The message in my heart I no longer must elope
When I limit myself away behind the survivor tag
It’s time to rise and run under a different flag
It’s time to live again
John Lowton
October ’22’