Categories
Poems

Next time

Today I watched a group of people harmlessly enjoying being friends 

I was drawn by their laughter and fun unashamedly spilling over, honouring and encouraging one another

It highlighted my own inadequacy and loneliness

In that moment I felt like I had never experienced friendship like that before

and I feared the exuberance drawing me in , lest the pain of my own existence was exposed, 

So, I stayed quiet, my inability to make attachments causing me to watch from a distance, my own silence, a deafening noise

I made a promise to myself, like I had done before, countless times in my life

Next time would be different, next time I will engage, next time

But, I fear the tears flowing uncontrollably 

Tapping in to the very depths of who I am

As I write, my words are like an oil, massaging my body, temporarily offering me a little comfort, 

My honesty brings me one step closer 

For I am fearfully and wonderfully made

It’s time to live again

July ‘23’

Categories
Poems

Be Surprised

Let me envelope you, with a whispering of belonging in the abandoned fields, to experience the unfamiliar warmth of joy and companionship.
Let me introduce you to feelings of being loved, exposing the emptiness of my previous existence, being born in the trenches of grief and suffering where dreams were lost and friendships buried.
Let me parade you in a new arena, amongst the fields of fresh hope and belonging, without the shame of living a lie.
Fully known and nothing hidden.

Let me surprise you with succulent fruit, in the trenches of previous suffering, every colour and every season, ripened in the fields of belonging. 
Let me amaze you with fruit where you didn’t sow, the labour of those who have gone before, with tropical fruit and temperate climates.
The fruit of life will be a sign. 

Let me outrage you, way beyond your understanding, occurrences that cannot be explained, visions that cannot be fathomed.
The power of belonging fuelling the fire
The heartfelt cry of my desire

It’s time to live again


Categories
Paintings

Sounds of the Earth

Categories
Paintings

Seasonal Colour Streams