Categories
Poems

Belief

How long does it take to start again?
How long does it take to be believed?
Change can be a lonely place
Mistrust the shackle in the race

How long does it take to start again?
Familiar lies have been my friend
To set my face, truth to choose
The deceitful friend I now must lose

How long does it take to start again?
I look the same to my friend
Days or years, how long to face
For truth to find a resting place 

How long does it take to start again?
Willing to change and make new friends
For few of the the old will believe what’s new 
Truth is living right in view

So how long do you need for your friend to change
To believe the truth of a live transformed
One week, one year or maybe never
It takes belief to travel together

It’s time to live again
Categories
Paintings

Wild Roses

Wild Roses
Categories
Poems

Invisible


Shhh, can you see me hiding
through the crowded room, I’m gliding
Bothering no one, eyes not meeting
And when they do it’s Oh so fleeting
Please don’t address me, don’t engage
A frightened rabbit in a cage
A little awkward, I don’t exist
Hidden in a shrouded mist

I must survive, never offend
A happy child an easy friend
Angelic eyes and white blond hair
Always shy but ever aware 
Of my childish looks and bashful persona
Everyones friend and yet a loner

Pleasant to all but lacking touch
To talk to girls was all too much
My fear and panic, I ran away
If only I had the courage to stay
The childhood trauma and lack of touch
The combination proved to much
Seeking comfort to ease the pain
Medicate to keep me sane

The controlling behaviours, a sinister song
Deep inside a need to belong
A call from the deep, a tender sound
Acceptance and love must be found
A rhythm of hope for this broken soul 
Pain and healing to make me whole

It’s time to live again 

John Lowton Nov 22
Categories
Poems

Greater Love


Love is to allow someone the choice to walk towards the precipice, knowing they might never return 

Love is to deny the urge to be the rescuer and to embrace the pain of a broken heart

Love is to see a part of you suffering time after time and not to intervene

Love is not knowing and still hoping whilst getting darkened whispers from afar

Love is hearing lie after lie and still believing

Love is to realise you are not the answer and point the way to the giver of life

Love is choosing to live alone rather than being someone else’s fix

Love is not being the provider for another’s compulsions

Love is allowing pain to be the healer

Love is never to stop praying and always watching

Greater love has no one, than he lay down his life for a friend

John Lowton      November 2023
Categories
Poems

Self

For me one of the greatest tests of how far a person has progressed in their recovery journey from life controlling behaviours or addictions is how they cope alone with self. I hope a few of you can relate to this poem

Self

Every bone and sinew, my body screams to escape
Tormented by memories, the existence of which strive to shape
the very essence of who I am, distressed and ill at ease
How can I find rest my heart to please?
Bring comfort and companionship to my soul?
Some fragrance of life to be make me whole
The anguish of spending time in a crowd
Of being alone or speaking out loud
In case they find out the real me
Timidity and fear for all to see
communing with demons, seeking comfort from self
The hatred and loathing Is on the the shelf
For all to see, I’m going insane
The instant remedy, to medicate pain
engaging in behaviour, escaping me
Alone with self I have to flee

The magic I seek at ease, at one, 
The living of life has just begun
To commune with self, no strife, content
This is how life was meant
experiencing life at ease at peace
The forgiveness of self brings release
It takes time to live new fresh ways
To find a way through life’s maze
to my soul, be gentle and kind
Sound and safe, of right mind
The end is in site, able to live with me
Me and God, I'm feeling free
There’s no other treasure which I wish to own
Rewarding, inspiring I’m becoming known
At home with self, igniting, firing
The horizon nears a complete rewiring

It’s time to live again

John Lowton 
November '22'