How long does it take to start again? How long does it take to be believed? Change can be a lonely place Mistrust the shackle in the race How long does it take to start again? Familiar lies have been my friend To set my face, truth to choose The deceitful friend I now must lose How long does it take to start again? I look the same to my friend Days or years, how long to face For truth to find a resting place How long does it take to start again? Willing to change and make new friends For few of the the old will believe what’s new Truth is living right in view So how long do you need for your friend to change To believe the truth of a live transformed One week, one year or maybe never It takes belief to travel together It’s time to live again
Month: November 2022
Categories
Wild Roses
Shhh, can you see me hiding through the crowded room, I’m gliding Bothering no one, eyes not meeting And when they do it’s Oh so fleeting Please don’t address me, don’t engage A frightened rabbit in a cage A little awkward, I don’t exist Hidden in a shrouded mist I must survive, never offend A happy child an easy friend Angelic eyes and white blond hair Always shy but ever aware Of my childish looks and bashful persona Everyones friend and yet a loner Pleasant to all but lacking touch To talk to girls was all too much My fear and panic, I ran away If only I had the courage to stay The childhood trauma and lack of touch The combination proved to much Seeking comfort to ease the pain Medicate to keep me sane The controlling behaviours, a sinister song Deep inside a need to belong A call from the deep, a tender sound Acceptance and love must be found A rhythm of hope for this broken soul Pain and healing to make me whole It’s time to live again John Lowton Nov 22
Categories
Greater Love
Love is to allow someone the choice to walk towards the precipice, knowing they might never return Love is to deny the urge to be the rescuer and to embrace the pain of a broken heart Love is to see a part of you suffering time after time and not to intervene Love is not knowing and still hoping whilst getting darkened whispers from afar Love is hearing lie after lie and still believing Love is to realise you are not the answer and point the way to the giver of life Love is choosing to live alone rather than being someone else’s fix Love is not being the provider for another’s compulsions Love is allowing pain to be the healer Love is never to stop praying and always watching Greater love has no one, than he lay down his life for a friend John Lowton November 2023
For me one of the greatest tests of how far a person has progressed in their recovery journey from life controlling behaviours or addictions is how they cope alone with self. I hope a few of you can relate to this poem Self Every bone and sinew, my body screams to escape Tormented by memories, the existence of which strive to shape the very essence of who I am, distressed and ill at ease How can I find rest my heart to please? Bring comfort and companionship to my soul? Some fragrance of life to be make me whole The anguish of spending time in a crowd Of being alone or speaking out loud In case they find out the real me Timidity and fear for all to see communing with demons, seeking comfort from self The hatred and loathing Is on the the shelf For all to see, I’m going insane The instant remedy, to medicate pain engaging in behaviour, escaping me Alone with self I have to flee The magic I seek at ease, at one, The living of life has just begun To commune with self, no strife, content This is how life was meant experiencing life at ease at peace The forgiveness of self brings release It takes time to live new fresh ways To find a way through life’s maze to my soul, be gentle and kind Sound and safe, of right mind The end is in site, able to live with me Me and God, I'm feeling free There’s no other treasure which I wish to own Rewarding, inspiring I’m becoming known At home with self, igniting, firing The horizon nears a complete rewiring It’s time to live again John Lowton November '22'