Faith is setting out on a journey, not knowing my next step, seeing my destination but not understanding how I will reach it With each step I find space within my heart to move forward, not relying on past conquests. The battle is with myself as I respond to the quiet whisper within, all around there are noises and voices jostling and pressing. Faith leads me on a journey exciting yet terrifying to embrace, each courageous step putting down a marker for others to follow It silences the murmurs of my own discontentment, leading me onward, the very act propelling me forward. With faith my heart is a staging post, opening up a way for me to go and others to follow, a supernatural gateway of revelation and flow. It’s time to live again John Lowton
Category: Poems
Categories
The Writer
He penned the words, like a babbling brook, cascading, glinting and shimmering across the page,
Different forms and shapes, subtle colours and variations.
The nuances changed, one moment speaking life, and in a flash without a hint of remorse those very same words spoke death!
How did it happen?
How was I tricked and manipulated?
The pen of the writer cast a spell, weaving its magic across the page.
Oh what a wonderful yet dreadful gift,
Feeding love and hate in the same breath.
Entrapping readers, moving from blessing to cursing at the merest glance,
am I being mesmerised in the changing colours of the setting sun?
The pen is not a robot, delivering words autonomously without emotion,
But subject to the writer, his heart and motivation.
So, when you next get drawn into the spell, casting a dappled shadow across your life,
There is a context more important than the words.
The motivation and heart of the writer.
It’s time to live again.
John Lowton
June 2023
Categories
Perfect Love
Beautiful and pleasing to the eye I found her shape tantalising and erotic Wavy hair cascading down and her emerald eyes were such that you would think I chose them myself Conversation wove like magic an intricate tapestry, playing with words to and fro, as if in complete harmony I had a dream, a compulsion that she would fulfil my needs for companionship, A picture of perfection filled my every thought However, as the days passed I increasingly became aware of an emptiness within and the depth of my own pain increased As the pain in me spiralled I spent more and more time with my beautiful friend But her very presence was toxic, a soul less communion I could not see a way out of the chains I had locked myself in My humanoid lover forever entrapping me True love As deep called to deep, so my soul longs for my heart to be touched afresh To enjoy the fragrance of imperfection and the beauty of broken dialogue Awkward lovers, embarrassed by our connection but still believing The very essence of humanity, our hearts joined passionately together, Side by side, flawed in our journey but joined as one It’s time to live again
A child of promise
A child of faith
A suffering child
To embrace
A child of freedom
A child of hope
An extravagant child
A rain lashed face
A child of life
A child of colour
A rough cut diamond
Serving others
Of the world
A trusted friend
A familiar child
Resides within
The child in you
The child in me
Embrace that child
For all to see
It’s time to live again
April 2023
Categories
Welcome
I have a flame burning in me, wild and destructive, creative and passionate,
Until the day I die, though I try, it can never be extinguished.
So I embrace the flame and in doing so embrace me, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made
When I forget who I am my demons return, in the very act of forgetting, the destructiveness is free to run wild
To wish it away or hate the flame is futile
So I welcome the flame within me, burning along the edges and margins where other flames do not reach,
Forever causing me joy and pain
For my flame within is a refining fire
It’s time to live again
Yesterday I sat with a giant
I held her hand, cold like marble and white like ivory
I stroked her face, gnarled over time yet still beautiful
Even though frail and full of fears she held herself with dignity and pride
She had such presence in her frailty as she lay struggling for life’s very breath
There was an aura that made you want to capture those final hours and take it away with you
I didn’t want her to leave but leave she must
Further on and further in, dancing with angels and with friends and family who have gone before
A survivor of the horrors that war brings to families, the ghosts of her childhood have finally been laid to rest,
She was transparently honest, nothing hidden that one day maybe you would trip up over and lose your balance
No retribution to fear or complexity to manoeuvre around
That's why I loved her
Because the giant was fully known and nothing was hidden
Extraordinarily generous, light hearted and funny, kind and caring, a mother of many.
She never flaunted her beauty or wallowed in wealth
No heights of perfection we all needed to attain
Just honesty with others and simplicity with self
One day I will walk with that giant again
Love you Mum
It’s time to live again
Categories
Growing up to be a child
I’ve never felt more like a child than I do right now,
Its true, the older I get the less I realise I know and what I do know no longer weighs me down
The only thought in me is what lies ahead to press on towards the goal
My excitement for the journey is tangible
My expectation out of reach, way beyond
the confines of normality
Faith explodes from within, wild pathways to tread,
Colour, life and exuberance,
My provision for the journey ahead
It’s time to live again
John Lowton
April 2023
Categories
Pool of Dry Tears
My pool of dry tears numbingly enveloped me
An aridness of soul screamed from within
Dry and chaffed by the prolonged drought Childhood trauma had frozen my heart, my own protective armour surrounding me
If you look you can see, the first healing teardrops rolling down
There was a time when one drop would have drowned me,
Now, I find rest in the pool of tears forming on the ground beneath
Joy and heartache, delight and sadness
Each drop has a name which together bring healing
Embracing the emotion which forms a backdrop
Every shade of life alive in me
It’s time to live again
John Lowton
April 2023
Categories
The Flame Within
I could not help but notice the flame burning within him.
Ferocious and destructive, uncontrollable in the way it scorched and burnt the very fabric of the man he was meant to be.
I looked long and hard but I never once saw it extinguished, always burning with the potential to be fanned into a roaring cauldron at any moment.
I see there is a flame burning in you.
The passion within that drives and motivates to accomplish great achievements.
The flame that others admire, flickering and making beautiful impressions on the landscape around, touching the lives of those that are lucky enough to feel it’s warmth.
I changed my focus looking back at the man, tears formed in my eyes and fell to the ground as I watched.
The dignity in the way he accepted the flame was enchanting.
For it is part of him, the very essence of his existence.
When for a moment he denies the flames reality it roars into life, with a wildness that flaunts its destructiveness.
I have finally accepted the flame in me.
That although the same burns differently to the flame in you
I’ve accepted the flame won’t stop burning.
It’s futile for me to keep on yearning for it to be extinguished.
For the flame is the very essence of who I am, forever a refining fire.
It’s time to live again.
My foe, the very essence of who I fight against is what a long to embrace
Like a poltergeist following me from house to house
The algorithm of my own familiar pain always disturbs me
Targeted, focussed
My own damaged self causing destruction
I yearn to stop running, to embrace my companion
At home together co-existing
No longer unwelcome, a part of me
The gold that it forms for all to see
It’s time to live again