Category: Reflections

These empty days and lonely nights
When there is no one to share my thoughts,
No warm and soft male body to hold me tight,
I breathe the evening thinking of my loves lost.

Nightfall. Storm winds roaring outside my home,
The sky looks angry and cold, and am so alone
Churning solemn memories and summer past,
While the body turns fragile, and hair turning white fast.

Where are the days of moon and wine and roses?,
Where are the nights of joy and loving kisses?
I can only sing to my self, and dance alone
I my lonely, quiet, and abandoned room.

Ah, but through unmerited grace I feel God’s presence
Lifting me up again to the peak of divine transcendence!

Author: snfmgtls

In a town very close to Glasgow called paisley. I was born. In 1973. To two very young childhood sweetheart s. At a young age of 16. They. Got married and. Then became parents. .. I was adored. By. Them both. Things
Were. Not. So easy for them to. Settle. Into. Family life. And. Eventually they. Split. Up. When i was age4. We. Moved into my grandmothers. House
With. Her By this time I had my little
Brother. Alexander. He was 2. My. Close. Buddy. Who i love very much. …my. mum. Went. To. Work at the. Cotton mill. In paisley which was a very. Big factory. Known for the paisley. Pattern. ..design. ..so. when i was 4. My. Uncle alec. Who was 19. Was left to baby. Sit. Me and my wee brother. ..things. then became. ..so wrong. And. My life. Soon changed. ..and god. Must. Of and still is. With me. Today. I know. Its. A miricle. I. Was sexually abused. And. Threatened. Not to tell my mum. Or my little brother. Would. Of been. Hurt. So. I lived. In. Complete. Fear. And. Confused. Also to be taken. To. Be passed on to another man and. For money. Things were. Horrific. And lonely. I. Survived. Through this time. With. A sense of a responsibility. For my wee brother. .I was 5. Now. And. I. Was. Feeling angry. As a wee girl. ..then. my uncle moved out. And left for Australia. ..Things got much better. And life got. Brighter for. My mum and me and my brother. Now. As a 50 year. Old lady. This year. There s been a long. Journey. Of. Healing and building my relationship with father god and Faith. Building And revelation.of Jesus And. His love for me. Andi can say. Its a miracle from God. He. Loves you. And me. My heart was. Broken. Its. Been a open heart. Surgery. A miracle. God in action. …for me.

Author: Julie Patricia

As always there was great excitement in my family at the birth of a son. I was born in 1960 and my parents named me John which means Gods Chosen. After a few days I was diagnosed as having a congenital hiatus hernia, a condition that was re-diagnosed later in my life as a Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH). It was this diagnosis that has shaped my whole life. Even now approximately 50% of children born with a CDH die in or around birth and it is the 2nd biggest killer of infants and children in the UK.
Way back 60 years ago they had little understanding of the condition. The doctors said to my parents if he can survive until the age of 2, he can have an operation at Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital. After 2 years of constant projectile vomiting, keeping down very little of my food and severe stress for my family I was operated on, this was to correct abnormalities to my stomach, oesophagus and diaphragm. My parents prayed for me and the operation which was at the cutting edge of medical knowledge at the time was ‘successful’. My Mother recounts that after the operation due to the severe discomfort I used to sit upright in a chair crying. I had a thoracotomy with a pencil thin scar halfway round my body. I spent my growing years getting food stuck in my oesophagus, this resulted in me being thumped on the back almost daily to dislodge food. I was a happy child though and remarkably excelled at cross country running despite being behind physically. I always questioned as a teenager how my condition would affect me as an adult and wondered if they had mis-diagnosed my condition. “What if they missed something?” Well 5 kids later and after a very active adulthood climbing mountains and playing soccer, at the age of 53 through a set of amazing coincidences I was re-diagnosed as having a CDH. This re-diagnosis in itself has an amazing story behind it. My local GP suspected something more was going on in my left lung then we knew about and sent me for a scan. The scan showed that my colon was protruding into my left lung space and they believed this had been like this since birth. The head of St James Thoracic Department would not hand me over to his team because he suspected more was going on than showed on the scan. When I went into surgery they found I had been living my whole life with a full loop of my colon in my left lung space, pressing onto my heart and over time it had become fused to my diaphragm and to my lung wall. The Doctors were astounded! So, was I, how had my body adapted to living like this and how had it stayed hidden all these years? That one day put my whole life into perspective and so much fell into place? What a relief!! How I managed to excel at long distance running with reduced lung capacity I have no idea, but I was a determined child.
Every birthday I enjoy sharing my story with the families of kids born with the condition, through the Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia Charity, the charity supports the families of children struggling with the consequences of being born with a CDH. I share from my own experience that there is hope for children that are survivors of CDH even though they are growing up with enormous struggles to overcome.
I live my life daily with a sense of gratitude, gratitude to Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital, gratitude to the thoracic team at St James Hospital, gratitude to my parents and brothers who endured so much looking after me as a child and gratitude to God. This sense I have of being ‘special’ or ‘chosen’ is what motivates me in life, I long for others to have that same sense no matter how awful their circumstances. I am forever grateful. Faith upon faith upon faith upon faith.

Author: John Lowton