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Poems

Self Destruction

In life there are patterns for everyone to see

The ebbs and flows, highs and lows, the things that make up me

I didn’t plan to self destruct it just kept on occurring 

I could feel it coming from afar, my mind just kept on whirring 

The ‘success’ and ‘fame’ life was flying

I expected the fall there is no denying 

Success and me didn’t marry

The emotional high I couldn’t carry

I couldn’t cope with being paraded

With recurring behaviours I then traded

I self destructed with my dark friend

The familiar pattern had no end

My friends were left with confusion

He did it again it’s no illusion

The hurt and pain were there to see

The destructive cycle surrounding me

I needed to find a different way

To steadier path, a brighter day

I no longer want to be parading

‘Success’ and ‘Fame’ masquerading 

Highs and lows come as they will

The occasional trough and even a thrill

I’m now more prepared for the ride

I meet my friends and then confide

a solitary place to retreat

With my maker I do meet

So can I ask don’t parade your friend

Those in recovery often tend

To be showed off before the world

Their new ‘success’ like a flag unfurled

But the very act can cause a high

They look so great but hide a lie

The fame itself causes pain

To be paraded has no gain

Except to promote false success

Leaving the friend to pick up the mess

Parading addicts point to score

They self destruct as before

I’ve worked in recovery for so long

Now I sing an honest song

It’s time to live again

John Lowton

October ’22’

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